Well, here we are again. Slightly drunk, not remotely tired, and very much bored. It's been over a year and a half since my last time posting and you'd think I'd have figured things out by now. However, even as I sit here trying to fill up this staggeringly empty page with some sort of fluid thought, I'm still lost. How do people do it? So many people seem to know exactly what they want out of life and how to make it happen. I still have no idea what I want out of life. I keep seeing people around me with an incredible drive to accomplish goals and enjoy what they're truly passionate about and I cant help but feel lost.
Things are a little better though. I moved to Tallahassee this year. Everyone always asks if I moved for school, and it's gotten to the point I just say yes rather than explain that I just wanted to live somewhere new ( That one seems to weird people out). I've also found a great new lie to tell people when they ask why I don't drive. I've just started saying that I care too much about the environment. People seem to grasp that concept a lot easier than the idea that I'm absolutely terrified of driving and traffic. As and added benefit, people assume I'm a good person for walking and using public transportation, rather than eat away at the ozone.
Now I just feel like I'm stalling. I've decided that I want to start writing again, but I feel like I'm hitting the same problem that caused me to stop. I have no idea what to write about. I'm a pretty boring person. I tend to just work, play video games, and watch a stupid amount of movies. I might try my hand at movie reviews until I either work my way through every movie in my archive or realize that I am in fact the douche bag movie reviewer that I've always hated. I have to do something other than binge watch Andromeda though. Hunt out.
Today, I was hit with a very firm truth. I am destined to live alone. Sure, I've got my amazing beard and charming smile, but I just hate people too much to want to have anything to do with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a dick head who kicks puppies and sneers at little kids, I just don't like people.... like.... at all. People are just dirty, annoying, and they waste so much time on useless social customs. Sure, I could continue to rock my fake smile and boring small talk, but it's just not me. I actually had a conversation today about the differences between fountain soda and canned soda. I shit you not, that really happened.
Of all my issues with people, its the dirtiness that gets to me the worst. It's almost like people want to get each other sick. Parents allow their kids to smear god-knows-what all over anything they can reach, decrepit old men get on the public bus and shit themselves ( A guy did this in the seat next to me today), and everybody wants to touch. How did all of this touching become the polite way of interaction? If I want to say hello to someone, I shouldn't have to shake their hand, bump their fist, give them five, or give them a fucking hug. If you can't get your point across with your words, then it obviously isn't a very important point. I just wish people would keep their hands to themselves and shower on a daily basis.
Working in a hotel, I've had to interact with some annoying people. I've heard complaints about anything you could think of and, to tell you the truth, most of them are pretty fucking stupid. I've heard guests complain about their sheets not being cleaned from the night before ( Do you change the sheets in your own home every night?), their appetizer got cold while they were eating their salad ( Maybe you should eat hot food first and not talk on your phone while you're in a damned restaurant.), and the ever classy "I can hear my ac unit (Then turn it the fuck off!). People just want to complain and voice their opinion on everything. I wish people would realize that I truly don't care. All I want to do is get through the week so I can spend my day off alone, at home, not having to interact with people.
Does anyone really like all of the social customs? There are so many that are just pointless. Why would anyone other than your family/close friends care how you are doing today, how your holidays were, or what your weekend plans are. The question "How are you?" and its response has become so structured and automatic, that people have to know that no one cares. Every time I make eye contact and repeat the line " I'm doing well. How are you?" I feel a little part of my soul tearing off and dying. All these phrases do is trigger an automated response, or initiate a longer conversation that has no reason but to waste time and energy that could be spent doing other things.
Well there you go. Now you know what I think to myself every single time I leave the house. Sure, I may sound like an old man or a complete dick, but I'm not. I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy. I just don't like leaving the house. Now if you will excuse me, I have some vidya games to play and some Dexter to watch. ( I just downloaded every single episode of Dexter. So good.)
I have survived Wintereensmas 2012 and I am back! For those of you who don't know, Wintereensmas is the winter ( Halloween-Christmas) video game season. As a nerd, it was my duty to focus all of my energy on work and (more importantly) video games. With all of the games that were spewing into the stores, I had no time to crush them and keep up with this blog. I had to make some cutbacks, but now I'm back. And to prove that I truly did crush this Wintereensmas, I will briefly share my adventures from the past few months (in sequential order). Borderlands 2
Borderlands 2 Kicked off Wintereensmas and really set the bar high. In Borderlands 2, you could team up with up to 3 friends for a whirlwind adventure filled to the brim with violence, midgets, and diamond horses named Butt Stallion. Sure, the game was crude at times (all the time) but that's what gave Borderlands 2 its charm. It was a great game, and I will be replaying it with all the dlc soon enough. Resident Evil 6
And then there was Resident Evil 6. RE6 was a major letdown for me. Being the recluse that I am, I went into RE6 solo. Starting as Leon S. Kennedy (super awesome zombie killing agent), you are partnered with Helena Harper. Without anyone to control Helena, the game's A.I. takes control and fucks your world up. The game's A.I. was so terrible, I have deemed this game unplayable until I have a partner to run through it with. Seriously, I only made it to the last chapter of the first campaign. Dishonored
Dishonored was the surprisingly good underdog game this year, but I'm going to love any game where you play a steam-punk assassin. Getting close to the release date, I almost let this game slip by me, but something stopped me and told me to go for it. In Dishonored, you are Corvo, the queens guard. Framed for her assassination, you are taken to prison, where you escape and (with the help of a rag-tag team) put an end to those who framed you and save the princess. With the use of crossbows, swords, and magic powers, nothing can stop you. I definitely recommend this game. Assassin's Creed 3
Assassin's Creed 3 was another letdown in my book. With shoddy game mechanics and a terrible main character, I was finding it hard to focus on how awesome the Assassin's Creed story is. Even more than the mechanics, I hated playing as Connor so much. Playing as a North American savage (Indian) is probably the only way a game could ever make me miss the days of being a dirty Italian jumping along the rooftops of his people. I'll get more into this (the game, not my hatred of the white guilt that pushes our country's hand every day) later, but in the mean time, just rent this game. There is no reason to buy it. Halo 4
If you own an Xbox 360 and do not have/plan on getting Halo 4, then you are a terrible person who probably enjoys kicking puppies. For shame. Finally playing as Master Chief again was great and all, but the real nerdgasm lies in the multiplayer. Sure, the maps aren't great, but the weekly updates and added Spartan Ops missions makes this game near perfection. Halo 4 is so good, that I feel bad for having not played in in the past 4 days. As cheap as I am, there's no reason to not buy this game right now. Sure, there will be a price drop someday, but you will also die someday. Think about that. Black Ops 2
Black Ops 2 was good. Not great, just good. the multiplayer engine used in this Black Ops just feels too much like the one used in Modern Warfare. Being a big fan of the first Black Ops, I'm left feeling rather disappointed. Sure, there's a zombie mode, but I miss mowing down other players with a Galil and not being killed by Hunter Killer Drones every five fucking seconds. I really wish this game was better, but its just good. Far Cry 3
Far Cry 3 is pretty sick. You play as Jason Brody ( "Bro" being in his name is actually a major hint at his personality), a rich twenty-something who decided that skydiving into a random jungle with his friends was a good idea. Surprise Surprise! They all get kidnapped by a crazed pirate who intends to ransom them to their families, then sell them into slavery. Despite being out matched and out gunned, Jason gets a magic tribal tattoo ( You can't make this shit up) that allows him to murder just about every pirate on the island. As Jason saves his friends, he really grows as a character and with one line, became my favorite playable character of the season. He was told that since he had help fetch an item it was his job to install it. That's when he said my line that I've been saying for all of 2012. " Wait.... is that even a thing?" Star Wars : The Old Republic
I know, The Old Republic didn't even come out this year, but I finally have a laptop that can play video games. With Elder Scrolls Online quickly approaching, I figured it was time I got into the whole MMO thing. I am really surprised how good this game is. I was pissed that Knights of the Old Republic 3 never happened, but it kind of did. SWTOR plays more like a Bioware RPG than an MMO. You make a character, choose your speech options, gain light side/dark side points, have the option to romance a follower, and have your own unique story in the Star Wars universe. SWTOR went free to play in November, so if you're not sure about it, you should really download it and give it a try. I highly recommend it.
There you have it, proof that I haven't just been sitting around doing nothing for the past few months. I have been saving planets, rescuing rich white kids, assassinating the British, killing zombies, and mastering the fucking force. I am back, but for now, I must excuse myself. I have a bounty to turn in and a Jedi to kill.
Hey guys. Just to be clear, I'm not dead. Sure, I've been gone for a while, but I have a really good reason for that. I have been working my balls off. A guy at work got fired a few weeks ago and I picked p all of his hours. It wasn't until this past week that I realized how much that guy worked. But I'm not there right now, so I don't even want to think of that place. What I do want to think about is me. I moved back home and started this blog as a way to grow as a person. I really haven't done anything to help that. I'm right back to doing what I did before. I don't talk to anyone outside of work or xbox live, I'm still terrified of driving, I have virtually the same job I had before, and Im still not in school.
Sure, I'm helpful and my parents like having me around, but I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I just thought I would have done something by this point in my life. I know there is still plenty of time for me to do something, but I just wish someone would give me some sort of hint as to what that something is. I've been avoiding the question " What do you want to be when you grow up?" my whole life. I just want an answer to give.
But enough about that. Lets talk about games ( I'm sorry, it's one of the few socially acceptable things I know enough to talk about). The game I considered the underdog game of the year came out this past week. Dishonored places you in the role of Corvo, a spectral assassin who's life was fucked over when the Empress ( his boss and lover) was assassinated and all fingers pointed to him. After escaping from jail, Corvo gains the use of magic abilities and advanced stealth tech and is given a plan to seek his revenge and rescue the princess.
I wasn't too sure about this one and had no plans to buy it. Drunk Addison (D.A.) thought it would be awesome and preordered it a few months ago. After frantically trying to figure out how I lost $60 in my account, the doorbell rang and there was a package from Amazon. Turns out, I got smashed one night and preordered it. I even had it gift wrapped and left a note for myself. " I know you want to thank me, but don't. That's conceited as fuck. - Drunk Addison" After playing it, I was right. I really did want to thank myself. Dishonored is a great game and I would have missed out on it had it not been for my good friend D.A. ( And his buddy JackOnTheRocks).
Any who, my bother is in town for the week and I really don't want to hear him making fun of me for doing a vlog, so I'll wait until he's gone for the next explanation of the video game industry ( with severely less "fuck"s). It's getting to that time of night now where I have two options: Sleep or play Skyrim. I'm considering the second one, but I'm pretty tired right now. I hope you have have an awesome fucking day.
Boom Goes the Dynamite
Hey, guys. So I just made my first vlog! I have to say, not a fan of watching myself speak.... Any ways, in order to help you all better understand what I'm talking about, I put together a little dictionary of terms for you. A "vocab list" if you will. I hope this helps.
NPC- Non-Playable Character. Any side character in a game that you do not have to option to play as.
RPG- Role Playing Game. Any video game where you have the ability to choose your characters appearance, the outcome of the story, or how the game is played. RPG's aren't always played with 9 sided dice in a basement.
FPS- First Person Shooter. Any video game that puts the camera in the eyes of the character. when you turn, he turns. When you move, he moves. His eyes are the camera.
TPS- Third Person Shooter. Usually an over the shoulder view. Sometimes the view is from directly behind the character.
RTS- Real Time Strategy. A type of game that puts you in control of an army. You gather minerals, build armies, conquer enemies, and construct additional pylons (Star Craft reference).
RROD- Red Ring of Death. A common problem among the first generation Xbox 360's. The 3 red lights in the power ring were an error code signaling one of many fatal system errors. This problem has since been fixed with the update to the 360 design.
OP- Over Powered. Many people find various weapons or characters over powered. Usually, this is because said people just suck at video games and whine when it gets too tough for them. These people are the panzies that the video game developers pander to and are the reason that games are so much easier now.
Nerf- Developers nerf certain elements of a game that they feel are too OP. The amazingly awesome pistol in the first Halo game was Nerfed so hard that it became the worst gun in the game. I would rather use the needler.
Glitch- A glitch is an error in the coding of a game. Sometimes a glitch can be as little as a flicker in a wall texture, while other times it can be as game breaking as a complete level reset or constant game crash.
Patch- A patch is an update to a games software after the release of a game. With the current generation of consoles having constant internet connection, patches are much more frequent and regular than before.
Lag- Lag occurs when one or more people in an online game have shitty connections, causing characters to jump from place to place with no control on positioning. The game is essentially trying to figure out what the fuck those people are doing.
Lag Switch- Lag Switching is when a person intentionally connects and disconnects from their router during an online match, causing lag. If they are the host, they can walk around the game smoothly while everyone else is left with the effects of the lag.
Hacker- A hacker is someone who actually manipulates the coding of a game. However, many assume that just because someone is better then them at Halo or Call of Duty, they must be hacking the game.
Death Match- A death match is usually a game type in which 5 people compete to get the most kills. Usually the score limit is 25, but it varies by game.
Team Death Match. A team death match is just that. A team of usually 4 against another team of 4. Loads of fun with some buddies.
Spawn Point- A spawn point is the spot on the map in which you a brought back into the game. Like a checkpoint.
Camping- A legitimate strategy. Camping (usually with a sniper) is when a person finds a nice spot to sit and blend in with the surrounding as unsuspecting prey run by and are quickly taken down.
Noob- Noobs are people who know very little about a game. They jump right in, figure it out as they go, and when they find something early on that works, they stick with it. Imagine playing Mortal Kombat against a guy who just bicycle kicks the entire match. That is a noob.
Noob Tube- The attached grenade launcher in any of the Call of Duty games. Being a one hit kill, many noobs flock to this attachment and use nothing else the entire game.
HUD- Heads Up Display. A HUD is any kind of meter on the screen. The health bar, ammo count, mini-map, and any other extras that your character wouldn't be seeing make up the HUD.
Mini-Map- The map usually found in the corner of your screen. Most games have them, but for some reason, games have been getting rid of them to incorporate shittier methods. (The bread trail in Fable 2)
Platforming- Platforming is a jumping obstacle course in a video game. Sure, they are annoying as shit, but they are relaxing at the same time. Takes you back the the days of Spyro the Dragon.
Farming- Farming is when you repeatedly kill the same enemy over and over again to gain experience points, money, or a rare item. People farm the shit out of the bosses in Borderlands 2 for the rare weapons and the customizable heads they drop.
There we go guys, I hope you can all enjoy my video now, and begin to understand a little more about gaming in today's society.
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all of the death of a very dear friend of mine. Being in my company for the past six years, Claudia and I have shared many adventures. She was there for the start of my band, Pussy Patrol. She aided in the closing of the Oblivion gates, the slaying of Alduin, and the Purification of the DC water basin. Hell, she was there when Commander Shepard defeated the Reapers and got to third base with Tali. Claudia was with me through my awkward teens and straight into my awkward twenties. I remember it like it was yesterday.... With my grades dropping, my father blamed no one but Claudia, and therefore banned me from spending time with her. But that wasn't even about to stop us. Each day, as I got home from school, Claudia and I would have an hour to roam the streets of Liberty City, Fight off the Covenant in a galactic war, or destroy the evil Darkspawn. It is these memories that I will Cherish and be thankful for, because they will allow her live on forever. Claudia can never be replaced, for she lives on with me, and will never be forgotten.
R.I.P.
Claudia
12/25/06 - 09/23/12
Forming the band! Claudia's 1st birthday
12/25/07
She had an identity crisis a few years back, but I nursed her back to health
Hey,guys. Sorry its been a while. Borderlands came out and I got extremely distracted. Anywho, I've made a few lists at work, and figured I should start posting them. First up is a personal favorite of mine. Of all the games I've played, I've compiled a list of the top five video game companions. I hope you all like it.
#5 Sparx : Spyro
In Spyro, Sparx is your friend, health bar, and gem detector. Sure, he doesn't speak and he is always eating defenceless butterflies, but he's the best friend a tiny purple dragon could ever ask for. I was there when Spyro took on Gnast Gnork, Ripto, and that evil sorceress bitch. He never ran, and for that, Sparx deserves the spot at #5 on this list. #4 Garrus Vakarian : Mass Effect
Garrus Fucking Vakarian! In the first Mass Effect, we meet a Turrian named Garrus. Garrus was a security officer who was through with the corruption on the streets and the uselessness of the justice system. His "shoot first, ask questions later" attitude gives off a very "Dirty Harry" vibe. Once you reconnect with him in the second game, you find out that he is The Bat Man. Come Mass Effect 3, Garrus is pulling a Tom Hanks and rescuing a single soldier from the middle of a trench war. Ladies and gentlemen, Garrus Vakarian is a fucking badass. #3 Serana : Skyrim
Serana may be an anchient, evil, bloodsucking vampire, but she is my anchient, evil, bloodsucking vampire. Being locked away for centuries, Serana grew to resent the shit out of her evil father. She is so pissed at that guy, she joins up with a group of vampire hunters just so she can fuck him up. Being a vampire, she has some pretty rad powers that help out... like a lot. Her powers and disposition toward her father ( and the Sun) earn her the #3 slot. #2 Morrigan : Dragon Age
Morrigan is fucking awesome. She is funny, condisending, savage as fuck, sexy, and voiced by the amazing Claudia Black ( Whats not to love?). Throughout the course of the game, You never quite know where Morrigan's loyalties lie. You wonder if she is secretly spying on you to her mother. You Prepare for her to stab you in the back at any moment. You even wonder if she will bail on you when you truely need her, unless you put a baby in her ( It's the last one.). Morrigans motives and loyalty may be a mystery, but that in no way stops her from being the second greatest video game companion. #1 Carth Onasi : Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
Carth Onasi is a glorified Badass. He was a war hero during the Mandalorian wars, he helped Revan defeat Darth Malak and destroy the star forge, and (nearly a half hour after finding his long lost son training in a Sith compound) shot his treterous son right in the fucking head. Carth is a mother fucking badass and I can't even imagine playing through Knights of the Old republic without him in my party the entire time. Carth Deserves this spot at #1. He has earned it.
