The Hard Truth

                 

                      Today, I was hit with a very firm truth. I am destined to live alone. Sure, I've got my amazing beard and charming smile, but I just hate people too much to want to have anything to do with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a dick head who kicks puppies and sneers at little kids, I just don't like people.... like.... at all. People are just dirty, annoying, and they waste so much time on useless social customs. Sure, I could continue to rock my fake smile and boring small talk, but it's just not me. I actually had a conversation today about the differences between fountain soda and canned soda. I shit you not, that really happened.
                     Of all my issues with people, its the dirtiness that gets to me the worst. It's almost like people want to get each other sick. Parents allow their kids to smear god-knows-what all over anything they can reach, decrepit old men get on the public bus and shit themselves ( A guy did this in the seat next to me today), and everybody wants to touch. How did all of this touching become the polite way of interaction? If I want to say hello to someone, I shouldn't have to shake their hand, bump their fist, give them five, or give them a fucking hug. If you can't get your point across with your words, then it obviously isn't a very important point. I just wish people would keep their hands to themselves and shower on a daily basis.
                      Working in a hotel, I've had to interact with some annoying people. I've heard complaints about anything you could think of and, to tell you the truth, most of them are pretty fucking stupid. I've heard guests complain about their sheets not being cleaned from the night before ( Do you change the sheets in your own home every night?), their appetizer got cold while they were eating their salad ( Maybe you should eat hot food first and not talk on your phone while you're in a damned restaurant.), and the ever classy "I can hear my ac unit (Then turn it the fuck off!). People just want to complain and voice their opinion on everything. I wish people would realize that I truly don't care. All I want to do is get through the week so I can spend my day off alone, at home, not having to interact with people.
                     Does anyone really like all of the social customs? There are so many that are just pointless. Why would anyone other than your family/close friends care how you are doing today, how your holidays were, or what your weekend plans are. The question "How are you?" and its response has become so structured and automatic, that people have to know that no one cares. Every time I make eye contact and repeat the line " I'm doing well. How are you?" I feel a little part of my soul tearing off and dying. All these phrases do is trigger an automated response, or initiate a longer conversation that has no reason but to waste time and energy that could be spent doing other things.
                     Well there you go. Now you know what I think to myself every single time I leave the house. Sure, I may sound like an old man or a complete dick, but I'm not. I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy. I just don't like leaving the house. Now if you will excuse me, I have some vidya games to play and some Dexter to watch. ( I just downloaded every single episode of Dexter. So good.)
                   

Middle Distnce Runner

                   I have survived Wintereensmas 2012 and I am back! For those of you who don't know, Wintereensmas is the winter ( Halloween-Christmas) video game season. As a nerd, it was my duty to focus all of my energy on work and (more importantly) video games. With all of the games that were  spewing into the stores, I had no time to crush them and keep up with this blog. I had to make some cutbacks, but now I'm back. And to prove that I truly did crush this Wintereensmas, I will briefly share my adventures from the past few months (in sequential order).

Borderlands 2

                   
                     Borderlands 2 Kicked off Wintereensmas and really set the bar high. In Borderlands 2, you could team up with up to 3 friends for a whirlwind adventure filled to the brim with violence, midgets, and diamond horses named Butt Stallion. Sure, the game was crude at times (all the time) but that's what gave Borderlands 2 its charm. It was a great game, and I will be replaying it with all the dlc soon enough.
Resident Evil 6

                        And then there was Resident Evil 6. RE6 was a major letdown for me. Being the recluse that I am, I went into RE6 solo. Starting as Leon S. Kennedy (super awesome zombie killing agent), you are partnered with Helena Harper. Without anyone to control Helena, the game's A.I. takes control and fucks your world up. The game's A.I. was so terrible, I have deemed this game unplayable until I have a partner to run through it with. Seriously, I only made it to the last chapter of the first campaign.
Dishonored

                        Dishonored was the surprisingly good underdog game this year, but I'm going to love any game where you play a steam-punk assassin. Getting close to the release date, I almost let this game slip by me, but something stopped me and told me to go for it. In Dishonored, you are Corvo, the queens guard. Framed for her assassination, you are taken to prison, where you escape and (with the help of a rag-tag team) put an end to those who framed you and save the princess. With the use of crossbows, swords, and magic powers, nothing can stop you. I definitely recommend this game. 
Assassin's Creed 3

                     Assassin's Creed 3 was another letdown in my book. With shoddy game mechanics and a terrible main character, I was finding it hard to focus on how awesome the Assassin's Creed story is. Even more than the mechanics, I hated playing as Connor so much. Playing as a North American savage (Indian) is probably the only way a game could ever make me miss the days of being a dirty Italian jumping along the rooftops of his people. I'll get more into this (the game, not my hatred of the white guilt that pushes our country's hand every day) later, but in the mean time, just rent this game. There is no reason to buy it.
Halo 4

                     If you own an Xbox 360 and do not have/plan on getting Halo 4, then you are a terrible person who probably enjoys kicking puppies. For shame. Finally playing as Master Chief again was great and all, but the real nerdgasm lies in the multiplayer. Sure, the maps aren't great, but the weekly updates and added Spartan Ops missions makes this game near perfection. Halo 4 is so good, that I feel bad for having not played in in the past 4 days. As cheap as I am, there's no reason to not buy this game right now. Sure, there will be a price drop someday, but you will also die someday. Think about that.
Black Ops 2

                      Black Ops 2 was good. Not great, just good. the multiplayer engine used in this Black Ops just feels too much like the one used in Modern Warfare. Being a big fan of the first Black Ops, I'm left feeling rather disappointed. Sure, there's a zombie mode, but I miss mowing down other players with a Galil and not being killed by Hunter Killer Drones every five fucking seconds. I really wish this game was better, but its just good.
Far Cry 3

                      Far Cry 3 is pretty sick. You play as Jason Brody ( "Bro" being in his name is actually a major hint at his personality), a rich twenty-something who decided that skydiving into a random jungle with his friends was a good idea. Surprise Surprise! They all get kidnapped by a crazed pirate who intends to ransom them to their families, then sell them into slavery. Despite being out matched and out gunned, Jason gets a magic tribal tattoo ( You can't make this shit up) that allows him to murder just about every pirate on the island. As Jason saves his friends, he really grows as a character and with one line, became my favorite playable character of the season. He was told that since he had help fetch an item it was his job to install it. That's when he said my line that I've been saying for all of 2012. " Wait.... is that even a thing?"
Star Wars : The Old Republic

 

 

                        I know, The Old Republic didn't even come out this year, but I finally have a laptop that can play video games. With Elder Scrolls Online quickly approaching, I figured it was time I got into the whole MMO thing. I am really surprised how good this game is. I was pissed that Knights of the Old Republic 3 never happened, but it kind of did. SWTOR plays more like a Bioware RPG than an MMO. You make a character, choose your speech options, gain light side/dark side points, have the option to romance a follower, and have your own unique story in the Star Wars universe. SWTOR went free to play in November, so if you're not sure about it, you should really download it and give it a try. I highly recommend it.

 

 

                       There you have it, proof that I haven't just been sitting around doing nothing for the past few months. I have been saving planets, rescuing rich white kids, assassinating the British, killing zombies, and mastering the fucking force. I am back, but for now, I must excuse myself. I have a bounty to turn in and a Jedi to kill.

Stay classy.