Hey guys. Just to be clear, I'm not dead. Sure, I've been gone for a while, but I have a really good reason for that. I have been working my balls off. A guy at work got fired a few weeks ago and I picked p all of his hours. It wasn't until this past week that I realized how much that guy worked. But I'm not there right now, so I don't even want to think of that place. What I do want to think about is me. I moved back home and started this blog as a way to grow as a person. I really haven't done anything to help that. I'm right back to doing what I did before. I don't talk to anyone outside of work or xbox live, I'm still terrified of driving, I have virtually the same job I had before, and Im still not in school.
Sure, I'm helpful and my parents like having me around, but I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I just thought I would have done something by this point in my life. I know there is still plenty of time for me to do something, but I just wish someone would give me some sort of hint as to what that something is. I've been avoiding the question " What do you want to be when you grow up?" my whole life. I just want an answer to give.
But enough about that. Lets talk about games ( I'm sorry, it's one of the few socially acceptable things I know enough to talk about). The game I considered the underdog game of the year came out this past week. Dishonored places you in the role of Corvo, a spectral assassin who's life was fucked over when the Empress ( his boss and lover) was assassinated and all fingers pointed to him. After escaping from jail, Corvo gains the use of magic abilities and advanced stealth tech and is given a plan to seek his revenge and rescue the princess.
I wasn't too sure about this one and had no plans to buy it. Drunk Addison (D.A.) thought it would be awesome and preordered it a few months ago. After frantically trying to figure out how I lost $60 in my account, the doorbell rang and there was a package from Amazon. Turns out, I got smashed one night and preordered it. I even had it gift wrapped and left a note for myself. " I know you want to thank me, but don't. That's conceited as fuck. - Drunk Addison" After playing it, I was right. I really did want to thank myself. Dishonored is a great game and I would have missed out on it had it not been for my good friend D.A. ( And his buddy JackOnTheRocks).
Any who, my bother is in town for the week and I really don't want to hear him making fun of me for doing a vlog, so I'll wait until he's gone for the next explanation of the video game industry ( with severely less "fuck"s). It's getting to that time of night now where I have two options: Sleep or play Skyrim. I'm considering the second one, but I'm pretty tired right now. I hope you have have an awesome fucking day.
Boom Goes the Dynamite
Hey, guys. So I just made my first vlog! I have to say, not a fan of watching myself speak.... Any ways, in order to help you all better understand what I'm talking about, I put together a little dictionary of terms for you. A "vocab list" if you will. I hope this helps.
NPC- Non-Playable Character. Any side character in a game that you do not have to option to play as.
RPG- Role Playing Game. Any video game where you have the ability to choose your characters appearance, the outcome of the story, or how the game is played. RPG's aren't always played with 9 sided dice in a basement.
FPS- First Person Shooter. Any video game that puts the camera in the eyes of the character. when you turn, he turns. When you move, he moves. His eyes are the camera.
TPS- Third Person Shooter. Usually an over the shoulder view. Sometimes the view is from directly behind the character.
RTS- Real Time Strategy. A type of game that puts you in control of an army. You gather minerals, build armies, conquer enemies, and construct additional pylons (Star Craft reference).
RROD- Red Ring of Death. A common problem among the first generation Xbox 360's. The 3 red lights in the power ring were an error code signaling one of many fatal system errors. This problem has since been fixed with the update to the 360 design.
OP- Over Powered. Many people find various weapons or characters over powered. Usually, this is because said people just suck at video games and whine when it gets too tough for them. These people are the panzies that the video game developers pander to and are the reason that games are so much easier now.
Nerf- Developers nerf certain elements of a game that they feel are too OP. The amazingly awesome pistol in the first Halo game was Nerfed so hard that it became the worst gun in the game. I would rather use the needler.
Glitch- A glitch is an error in the coding of a game. Sometimes a glitch can be as little as a flicker in a wall texture, while other times it can be as game breaking as a complete level reset or constant game crash.
Patch- A patch is an update to a games software after the release of a game. With the current generation of consoles having constant internet connection, patches are much more frequent and regular than before.
Lag- Lag occurs when one or more people in an online game have shitty connections, causing characters to jump from place to place with no control on positioning. The game is essentially trying to figure out what the fuck those people are doing.
Lag Switch- Lag Switching is when a person intentionally connects and disconnects from their router during an online match, causing lag. If they are the host, they can walk around the game smoothly while everyone else is left with the effects of the lag.
Hacker- A hacker is someone who actually manipulates the coding of a game. However, many assume that just because someone is better then them at Halo or Call of Duty, they must be hacking the game.
Death Match- A death match is usually a game type in which 5 people compete to get the most kills. Usually the score limit is 25, but it varies by game.
Team Death Match. A team death match is just that. A team of usually 4 against another team of 4. Loads of fun with some buddies.
Spawn Point- A spawn point is the spot on the map in which you a brought back into the game. Like a checkpoint.
Camping- A legitimate strategy. Camping (usually with a sniper) is when a person finds a nice spot to sit and blend in with the surrounding as unsuspecting prey run by and are quickly taken down.
Noob- Noobs are people who know very little about a game. They jump right in, figure it out as they go, and when they find something early on that works, they stick with it. Imagine playing Mortal Kombat against a guy who just bicycle kicks the entire match. That is a noob.
Noob Tube- The attached grenade launcher in any of the Call of Duty games. Being a one hit kill, many noobs flock to this attachment and use nothing else the entire game.
HUD- Heads Up Display. A HUD is any kind of meter on the screen. The health bar, ammo count, mini-map, and any other extras that your character wouldn't be seeing make up the HUD.
Mini-Map- The map usually found in the corner of your screen. Most games have them, but for some reason, games have been getting rid of them to incorporate shittier methods. (The bread trail in Fable 2)
Platforming- Platforming is a jumping obstacle course in a video game. Sure, they are annoying as shit, but they are relaxing at the same time. Takes you back the the days of Spyro the Dragon.
Farming- Farming is when you repeatedly kill the same enemy over and over again to gain experience points, money, or a rare item. People farm the shit out of the bosses in Borderlands 2 for the rare weapons and the customizable heads they drop.
There we go guys, I hope you can all enjoy my video now, and begin to understand a little more about gaming in today's society.
It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all of the death of a very dear friend of mine. Being in my company for the past six years, Claudia and I have shared many adventures. She was there for the start of my band, Pussy Patrol. She aided in the closing of the Oblivion gates, the slaying of Alduin, and the Purification of the DC water basin. Hell, she was there when Commander Shepard defeated the Reapers and got to third base with Tali. Claudia was with me through my awkward teens and straight into my awkward twenties. I remember it like it was yesterday.... With my grades dropping, my father blamed no one but Claudia, and therefore banned me from spending time with her. But that wasn't even about to stop us. Each day, as I got home from school, Claudia and I would have an hour to roam the streets of Liberty City, Fight off the Covenant in a galactic war, or destroy the evil Darkspawn. It is these memories that I will Cherish and be thankful for, because they will allow her live on forever. Claudia can never be replaced, for she lives on with me, and will never be forgotten.
R.I.P.
Claudia
12/25/06 - 09/23/12
Forming the band! Claudia's 1st birthday
12/25/07
She had an identity crisis a few years back, but I nursed her back to health
Hey,guys. Sorry its been a while. Borderlands came out and I got extremely distracted. Anywho, I've made a few lists at work, and figured I should start posting them. First up is a personal favorite of mine. Of all the games I've played, I've compiled a list of the top five video game companions. I hope you all like it.
#5 Sparx : Spyro
In Spyro, Sparx is your friend, health bar, and gem detector. Sure, he doesn't speak and he is always eating defenceless butterflies, but he's the best friend a tiny purple dragon could ever ask for. I was there when Spyro took on Gnast Gnork, Ripto, and that evil sorceress bitch. He never ran, and for that, Sparx deserves the spot at #5 on this list. #4 Garrus Vakarian : Mass Effect
Garrus Fucking Vakarian! In the first Mass Effect, we meet a Turrian named Garrus. Garrus was a security officer who was through with the corruption on the streets and the uselessness of the justice system. His "shoot first, ask questions later" attitude gives off a very "Dirty Harry" vibe. Once you reconnect with him in the second game, you find out that he is The Bat Man. Come Mass Effect 3, Garrus is pulling a Tom Hanks and rescuing a single soldier from the middle of a trench war. Ladies and gentlemen, Garrus Vakarian is a fucking badass. #3 Serana : Skyrim
Serana may be an anchient, evil, bloodsucking vampire, but she is my anchient, evil, bloodsucking vampire. Being locked away for centuries, Serana grew to resent the shit out of her evil father. She is so pissed at that guy, she joins up with a group of vampire hunters just so she can fuck him up. Being a vampire, she has some pretty rad powers that help out... like a lot. Her powers and disposition toward her father ( and the Sun) earn her the #3 slot. #2 Morrigan : Dragon Age
Morrigan is fucking awesome. She is funny, condisending, savage as fuck, sexy, and voiced by the amazing Claudia Black ( Whats not to love?). Throughout the course of the game, You never quite know where Morrigan's loyalties lie. You wonder if she is secretly spying on you to her mother. You Prepare for her to stab you in the back at any moment. You even wonder if she will bail on you when you truely need her, unless you put a baby in her ( It's the last one.). Morrigans motives and loyalty may be a mystery, but that in no way stops her from being the second greatest video game companion. #1 Carth Onasi : Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
Carth Onasi is a glorified Badass. He was a war hero during the Mandalorian wars, he helped Revan defeat Darth Malak and destroy the star forge, and (nearly a half hour after finding his long lost son training in a Sith compound) shot his treterous son right in the fucking head. Carth is a mother fucking badass and I can't even imagine playing through Knights of the Old republic without him in my party the entire time. Carth Deserves this spot at #1. He has earned it.
Hey, everybody. With the end of the world quickly approaching, I figured I would figure out the type of team I would need to survive in a post apocalyptic wasteland. I came up with 9 different archetypes : The Leader, The Wheelman, The Shadow, The Demolition Man, The Medic, The Powerhouse, The Slut, The Spotter, and The Survivalist. If you find yourself wandering through any sort of post apocalyptic wasteland, find these people. With this group setup, you won't be let down.
The Leader : Rick Grimes
Rick Grimes (The Walking Dead) is an obvious choice for the leader of the group. He knows how to make the tough decisions, he has lead his group through some crazy shit, and the only time something goes wrong is when Carl fucks up and doesn't stay inside at night. Seriously, I hope they kill off Carl soon.... That little shit bag.
The Wheelman : Third Street Saints Leader
Playing as the leader of the Third Street Saints in Saint's Row the Third, I have come to realise that she is a total badass. Not only does my version have the same voice as Serana (Skyrim), but she can drive/fly just about anything ( And if it has guns attached, that's a plus). She even picked up on flying a jet bike really fast.
The Shadow : Ezio Auditore
Ezio Auditore ( Assassins Creed 2) was really the only choice fore the role as The Shadow. In a post apocalyptic world, you tend to need supplies, and as every video game has taught me, the best loot is usually the hardest to get. Whether its conquering obstacles or evading enemies, Ezio is your man. And if zombies are the threat, his mastery of silent killing will come in handy.
The Demolition Man : John McClane
Shit seems to always be blowing up around John McClane ( Die Hard). As a New York cop who has pissed off far too many German terrorists, John is constantly running from bombs, disarming bombs, or repurposing bombs to destroy his enemies. Personally, I can't think of anyone I would rather have in charge of blowing shit up.
The Medic : James
James (fallout 3) is the father of The Vault Boy. James, living in a post apocalyptic world, would know how to treat radiation poisoning, various infections, and other dangers to be found in the wasteland. As a doctor/scientist, he discovered a way to purify a lake of irradiated water. That is the kind of guy you want to be friends with. Oh, and he is voiced by Liam Neeson, so badass points are earned there. The Powerhouse : Darth Revan
(Star Wars: Knights of the old republic) Let me be clear here. I do not mean Revan, the Dark lord. I mean Revan, the redeemed Jedi on a mission to destroy Darth Malak and the Star Forge. Revan, eager to advance his knowledge of the force and how to use it, became one of the most powerfull Jedi of his time. With the help of 9 others, he was able to cripple the Sith empire and defeat Darth Malak. He even discovered the Star Forge twice (He lost his memory, then found it again). With his mastery of the force, Revan can rock shit any day. He is the perfect fit for The Powerhouse.
The Slut : Zoey
Before you assume that I'm talking about the Zoey from Left 4 Dead, let me clarify. I'm talking about the Zoey from the porn parody Left 4 Head. The reason this slut is important, is because she was able to find a fatal weakness in the special infected. Zoey was able to single handedly take down a witch ( crazy hard zombie that mercs everybody). What Zoey found, is that zombies need love too. Yes, she killed a witch by having sex with it. Oh, and it turns out witches are squirters.... maybe that's what kills them?
The Spotter : Cortana
Cortana (Halo) is an A.I. or Artificial Intelligence. When interfaced with any computer connected the internet, she can hack anything you want. So if you need recon done, the is probably a camera near by. She can hack the shit out of that camera. She really doubles as 2 specializations. Recon and Tech-Expert. This ideal member of your team will make sure nobody ever gets the drop on you.
The Survivalist : Kenzi
And then there was Kenzi (Lost Girl). Being a runaway, and the only human in a gang of Faye ( Fairy Folk or magical creatures), Kenzi often relies on her street smarts. She has "a guy" for everything, knows how to escape any situation, and is a bit of a clepto. You would be surprised how important thievery is in a post apocalyptic world. When currency holds no value, you need to pick up any trinkets you can. Kenzi is perfectly suited to deal with the currency issue, and being Russian as fuck, she is well versed in the art of haggling. Plus shes got that oddly attractive punk/goth thing going on.
There we have it, my post apocalyptic dream team. Sure, none of these people actually exist, but if the multiverse ends up crashing in on its self and they all end up existing in the real world, then at least I'll know who to find. Oh, and for all the people with their ideal teams of four other people or those wondering why I didn't make it an even, let me remind you of something. You want a space in the team too, right? Never have an odd number team. As long as the buddy system is in place, you should be fine.
Until next time, this is Addison signing out.
Things I Can't Wait For #3 : October 14th! The Walking Dead season 3 premieres on the 14th, and it will be sweet.
Hey, everybody. Sorry I've been gone for a while, but I was making videos, reading terms and condition ( Yes, I actually read those), and playing Saints Row the Third. I have to say, after posting the videos and hearing my voice, I really hat the way I sound. There is almost no inflection. At first, I thought it was the mic I was using. But no, that's just my voice. How do people not fall asleep when I speak? It's the most monotone voice ever. If I ever start smoking, I might sound like the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond. Fuck!
But I'm not going to dwell on that. I got an instant approval for YouTube partnership, I've started posting my videos, and I have been playing a shit ton of Saints Row ( Such an awesome game!). With only 6 days until Borderlands 2 comes out, all is right with the world.
Hey, everyone. Sorry that I've been gone, but it's been for a good reason. In this next week, I will be posting on my YouTube channel and getting all of that started. I've been recording a lot of video lately and finally have the channel started. We have our name and will be posting an intro video before the end of the week, and will then begin our regular segments. I'm really excited out this, and can't wait to start. So close.
On a side note, I recently started watching movies from my past to see if they hold up, or if nostalgia has just taken over my brain. The movies I tested first were Total Recall and Demolition Man. Total Recall totally holds up. Sure, the computers in the future are dated as fuck and jazzersize is big, but I can look past that. I'd say the only thing I can't look past is the three boobed mutant. I love boobs. I love them so much, I wish chicks really did have three. It's a beautiful thing.
Demolition Man, on the other hand, really does not hold up. Watching it now makes me feel like my childhood was a lie. This movie is horrible. Bad acting, horrible story, and ridiculous characters make up this travesty of a movie. They even managed to mess up a sex scene with Sandra Bullock. How does that even happen? It's not hard to make a good sex scene when you have a hot actress. All they had to do was do what early 90's movies do best. Show some boob. Demolition Man showed no boob, not even a little side boob action. The slightest bit of side boob would have even excused the fact that Stalone missed with every gun ( Why did he even try?). Watching this movie was worse than playing through the first hour of Duke Nukem Forever ( That's right, I had to play the first hour for a video. It was so bad, we might not even use the video. FML.).
That's an actual quote. Why is there no side boob?
Well guys, the next movie on my list is The Great Mouse Detective. I have high hopes for that one. If you guys would like to to check out any other movies ( as apposed to you risking your childhood memories), just let me know. I'll let all of you know when the first video goes up, and keep you posted from then on. Borderlands 2 comes out soon, so I'll have plenty of material for the channel. Have a great night/day.
Addison out.
Things I Can't Wait For #1: This November, Star Wars: The Old Republic will become free to play. As a fan of Kotor, and Star Wars video games in general, I will be buying it then. So stoked!
(p.s. I tried posting this last night, but Brighthouse decided to be shitty and I didn't have internet from 1 am to after 4 am.)
