City of Refuge

                      Hey, guys. Video games have been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. Today, I sat there for a while I put together a list of my favorite games. Some of these are newer, but most of them are older. However, they are all pure awesome sauce. So, without further adieu, I give you The Best Video Games of the Past 20 Years!.

10)  Rampage

                   Playing this as a 7 year old, I thought Rampage was the shit! I could be Godzilla, King Kong, or a giant ass wolf and my whole goal was to destroy cities. Fucking awesome. At 7, I had no idea that I was playing the bad guy in the game, I thought people liked getting eaten by a giant wolf.
9)  007 Nightfire

                    Sure, Nightfire wasn't great, but it had an awesome multi player mode. Nightfire, unlike most first person shooters of its time, had one thing I loved. By this time, my brother had realised that I was better at video games than he was, so he stopped playing them with me. Nightfire was the only game that I could play against bots (computer generated players) in a death match mode. Bots were probably the only reason I had this game.
8)  Super Mario 64

                   When I was younger, I spent the night at my grandmother's house every Friday night. When she would go to bed after watching Galaxy Quest, Harry Potter, Frequency, Little Vampires, a Tom Selleck movie, or whatever movie she was obsessed with at the time, I would go back to her art studio and play the shit out of some Mario 64. The camera may have been horrible, but that was just how the N64 rolled. Sure, people get pissed when they have to wall jump in the early snow and the dickhead camera guy decides to flip the camera in mid jump, causing you to fall to your death, but that doesn't stop anyone from going for all the stars. It's a completion itch that needs to be scratched.
7)  Star Fox 64

                       Star Fox was fucking awesome. Not only did you fly a space fighter, but you killed giant robots and giant alien things. If that's not enough, you fought alongside a badass named Falco ( Not Keanu Reeves in The Replacements). There were secret shortcuts to levels that would change the path you take in the galaxy map to the ending boss, and I think I speak for everyone when I say I would take any path that let me skip the lava level. That shit was horrible!
6)  Halo 3

                       I only have one bad thing to say about Halo 3. Bungie uses horrible ass manufacturers. I would probably still be playing halo 3 if my disk lasted more than a few months of playing it. For some reason, every halo game I've ever owned has had the same problem. After a few months, the disks warps to the point that the single player campaign is unplayable. Every time I try to start a mission, the "disk unreadable" error pops up and I have to restart my xbox. Bungie puts out great games, but I have to give the a big " Fuck You " for the poor disk quality.
5)  Alan Wake

                          Alan Wake scared the crap out of me. I've played plenty of survival horror games, but this one was probably the best. It has an amazing story, and pretty sweet combat (but as a writer, you probably want to avoid fights). I loved this game so much that I almost bought the sequel that was released on the xbox live arcade, until I found out that the stripped the story from the game and made it all about the combat. Fuck that. You shouldn't mess with greatness.
4)  Mass Effect 2

                   There are probably going to be a shit ton of people getting butt hurt over thins one, but I couldn't care less. I'll say it. I liked Mass Effect 2 more than the first one! It had better characters, better story, and better mechanics. Sure, Carth Onasi's voice was in this for only 2 scenes, but it was still better. Hell, Martin Sheen was in it and did what he does best. He played the crazy super rich guy that pays you to be evil as fuck. It felt like a modern Knights of the Old Republic.
3)  The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

                   Dude, I don't even want to think about how many hours I put into this game. Each character I made had at least 100 hours put into them, and I made like over 10 people. This game was my salvation in middle school. Having no friends and dealing with the loss of my grandmother, I sunk my life into this game. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure I was the target demographic.
2)  Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

                    It was so hard to not put this game at number one. this game is hands down, the best rpg in the history of video games. This game had all the great elements: love, Star Wars, redemption, choice of good or evil, HK-47, and fucking light sabers! If you disagree with this being the best rpg ever, you probably need a swift kick to the vagina to set your thoughts strait. Play this game, you won't regret it. It soooo holds up!
1)  Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage

                      Spyro! Any product of the 90's will agree with me, Spyro is the shit. Spyro 2 introduced orb collecting, Hunter the cheetah, that dickhead Moneybags, and that hot Fawn wanted to bang Spyro. ( After google-ing "Spyro fawn" my childhood is a little more ruined. Damn you rule 32... damn you strait to Hell!) If you are 20- something and never played Spyro, you should be ashamed. Spyro was a defining point of the 90's and still holds up. Hell, I bought a PS3 just so I could play the original trilogy again. I do recommend, however, that you only play the first three. After those three, the series goes down the crap shoot. They even tried to reboot it, but I can't bring myself to even read up on that. The thought of all that orb collecting and dragon egg finding never happening saddens me.





                        Ok, while writing about Alan Wake, I realised I messed this list up horribly. Talking about how they destroyed the game in the sequel by removing all elements of story and pandering to the combat oriented gamers ( douches, if you will) made me realise I forgot the second best rpg ever, Dragon Age: Origins. Dragon Age: Origins was an amazing game that played just like Knights of the Old Republic and filled the void left by Kotor 3 being cancelled years ago. Being such a great game, I can't begin to fathom why they changed the game so much in the sequel. They took a great game and made it downright horrible. They trashed the character development ( my favorite part of Bioware games) and ruined the story. They even removed any real character customization. In Origins, you could choose your race, sex, background, skill set, appearance, and voice. In Dragon Age 2, you could only choose the skill set and sex. And you couldn't really make the story yours. It's like the game assumed all characters were bisexual and formed the story around it. It pissed me off and made me regret pre-ordering it after playing Origins. I really lost a lot of respect for Bioware when Dragon Age 2 showed up at my door. Oh, and did I mention that Claudia Black voices a companion in Origins? Yea, that's whats up.

 

                        There we have it, guys. The best games of the past 20 years. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I would love some feedback ( Unless you are arguing against Kotor. If that's the case, you can go fuck yourself.). I'm really close to getting the YouTube channel up and running, so keep and eye out for that. I think I should have a few videos up my the end of next week. I have some days off coming up, so I'll get some of those posted, even if I can't get Mike in them, that way we can at least get started. And now for the fun part, spell checking this whole post! There are always so many spelling errors. I even write entire sentences backwards sometimes. It's pretty bad.

Facts I Hate # 4: There will never be a Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 3. They rushed the second one along so much that it lacked in a few areas and was poorly received by critics, resulting in the third being cancelled.

 

 

Take it or Leave it

                    Hey, everyone. Before I go to sleep ( or lay wakefully waiting for the sun to come up and only then will I become tired ), I wanted to give you all an update on the channel. I have started recording more video and have started to get the hang of the editing process. I had a problem earlier today with my voice picking up, but I soon realised I still had my RockBand microphone, so that problem is no more. I was going to film a Minecraft adventure with Mike today, but the weather had different plans.
                   With the lingering storm continuously dipping the power levels in the house, I figured it would be a good time to turn the game off and watch some Game of Thrones. Let me tell you, shit has hit the metaphorical fan in Game of Thrones. The main character was executed by the new king ( Teenage boy arranged to marry the main guy's oldest daughter), the holds of the north have combined forces to rebel against the new king, oh and fallen warriors are going zombie to kill guards of the wall. This shit is pretty ridic. And I haven't even told you the best part. There are dragons now! Yes, they are only baby dragons now, but Spyro was young and kicked Gnasty Gnork's ass.
                    Other than that, I haven't really done anything today. Tomorrow is going to start early for me though, so I should be going (Apparently the is a 7 am. I knew there was a 7 pm, but having one in the morning is a little too much.). Before I go, Mike and I have been having a hard time coming up with a name for our channel, so if anyone has any suggestions, we would love to hear them. Good night/morning, everyone. Addison out.

Facts I Hate #3: (Spoilers!) They are killing off Amy Pond ( hot slutty redhead) in the new season of Doctor Who.

This is the shirt I have for the convention!

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

                          Hey, everyone. I want to start off by saying that I will be getting back to posting every night. I know I started to drift off, but I have been trying to plan how to start and work the new YouTube channel. Now that I have the pvr, I have been able to test and find out what problems I will face. So far, I think the only problem will be the quality of other people's voices. It took a few hours today, but I was finally able to amp up the sensitivity of my laptop's internal microphone and find which video format I have the ability to edit. It will require more space per video than I previously expected, but my new 500GB hard drive should off set that.
                          As of right now, Mike and I are in the process of recording footage, learning how to master the editing software, and figuring out what kind of channel we are going to be. We will not be one of the many annoying channels that clutter the internet using douchey sound effects and weird fake accents. However, we are not the weirdly serious gamers. We don't strategize games too often and we piss each other off a lot. As a heads up, there will be a lot of Minecraft, Halo, zombies, swearing, TNT, diking around, and drinking. If any/all of these offend you, I suggest you avoid the internet ( or any sort of media in the world today).
                         I'm just going to back away from the whole YouTube thing for a minute and say "Holy shit! Game of Thrones is amazeballs." I'm not even entirely sure whats happening sometimes. Right when you start to trust that a character has forged an alliance with someone, Blam! They back stab the shit out of them. It's awesome, bloody, and filled with female nudity ( always a plus in my book). If anyone hasn't watched Game of Thrones, I really really recommend it. It's essentially Skyrim in the form of a Tv show.
                         Well, I should be getting back to recording some footage for the channel. No idea what I'm recording, but I don't want to miss anything awesome. If anyone has any requests for videos ( news about certain games, gameplay footage, game review, or walkthroughs/achievement guides) just let me know, and I will be sure to start working on them right away. I hope everyone has a great night/day, and I'll let you know when we start posting videos.

Facts I hate #2: Nathan Fillion will not be playing Nathan Drake in the movie adaptation of the Uncharted series. Even though he really wanted to do it, they went with Marky Mark.

Purple Rain

                     So, I just looked and found out that my last post never actually posted. Nor did it save. So, instead of re-writing my sexytime play list, I'm just going to summarize it. If you want music to get down to, music that will make panties drop, you need to play some Prince. And if for some awkward ass reason the girl you're trying to hook up with isn't down with his purple majesty, play some Peter Gabriel. Bitches love Peter Gabriel. And before you assume that they are one and the same, let me inform you of the message they both pose. Playing Prince for your woman presents an animal magnetism. It's Saying " Baby, I love you. I want to do all the wrong things in all the right places". Peter Gabrielle on the other hand has a sweeter vibe. Playing Peter Gabriel for your woman is essentially saying " I love you. You're beautiful. Please let me stick it in." There is a big fucking difference between the two, and now you know. Anyone who gets laid because of this information can thank me in the form of a drink or contribution to my upcoming web series.
                     Now that that's out of the way, I'll let you all know what I've been up to. After making $150 tonight, I now have enough money to order the recorder and preorder the games to start my new YouTube channel. The segments are not set in stone, but I've been putting together a weekly schedule for their release. To start, it will just be my good friend Mike and I doing the videos. They will be video game oriented, but we are pretty damn hilarious, so the focus shouldn't even matter to some people. I will be ordering the recorder tomorrow, and once we have it, mike and I will start testing and leaning the editing process. With all of that, I think we should have our channel up and running in about 2 weeks tops. If anyone has a segment idea, please let us know. We would love to get some input from our future viewers.
                       As always, I hope you all have a great night /day. And remember, if you want to see panties hit the floor, turn on some prince, then buy me that drink. "I must go, the fog is rising."

Facts I Hate #1 : Ryan Reynolds is Canadian. :-(

Gentleman Who Fell

                    Wow, I just realised I haven't written anything in a while. My bad, guys. I guess i just haven't really had anything to talk about. I have been trying to cleanse my palate from those zombie movies with some video games. I decided that i really wanted to 100% portal 2. So I picked it back up, updated, and started grabbing those achievements. As of now, I think I only have about 5 left to get. Oh, and I think I've braked from Minecraft for long enough. As of right now, I think I know what I can build as Fort Addison, I just have to do some smaller practice buildings to figure out the specifics.
                     Later today, I will begin work on a new music playlist. I was talking to a friend of mine last night and asked what kind of playlist I should work on, and she told me to do a sexytime playlist.... I'm not really sure what it's going to consist of, but there will be plenty of Prince and Kiss From a Rose by Seal. I will really try to get that one posted tonight. That is if I'm not balls deep in some scientific testing action ( If you have ever played portal, you know whats up).
                       Before I get started on any of that though, I'm going to have to keep watching women's water polo. I must say, I love the Olympics and all the underwater cams. I have no idea what water polo is, or where the horses are, but what I do know is that I am loving every second of it. I hope you all have a good day, and I'll try to get that playlist posted up here later.

Portal Tip #1: Never trust and artificial intelligence. Haven't you ever watched 2001: A Space Odyssey?

Zombies! (part 2)

                    Hey,everyone. I'm back with another fun filled post! I've gotten some good feed back on the last list I made, as well as a few people asking about the nip slip in Resident Evil (Btw, it's at the beginning when she's in the hospital, then there is a second one at the end when she's in the recovery tank). And now there's the matter of the movies I couldn't bring myself to put on my list last night.  Like I said before, I have made two zombie lists. Tonight, I bring you the second. Tonight, for your reading pleasures, I present to you, the Z.C.D.( Zomcom Count Down).

#10)  Black Sheep

                      Such a weird little movie. Black Sheep isn't about your normal zombies. It's about zombie sheep. near the end you find out that one guy has been doing the horizontal hokie pokie with of the the zombie sheep and becomes a zombie sheep/man combo thing. It's all really weird New Zealandy.
#9)  Bio Zombie

                    Bio Zombie is essentially Dawn of the Dead, but way more Asian. The food court in a Hong Kong mall has been serving soda that turns people into zombies. If this was a joke about the amount of high fructose corn syrup is in our everyday diet then consider me impressed. But who am I kidding? This was just Asian Dawn of the Dead.
#8)  Night of the Living Dorks

                       Ever wonder what American Pie would be like if the Germans made it? Well this is it.... just with zombies... and the kinky band girl is a kinky goth girl. Crazy Germans, hot goth girls aren't real.
#7)  Zombie Strippers!

                    Not going to lie, this is the only Jenna Jameson movie I have ever watched with both the volume and my pants on. Even though the quality and the cast instantly makes you think this is porn, it is actually a zomcom, and a decent one at that. Oh, and Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) is in it too.
#6)  Dead Alive

                      If you ever feel like your mother is the worst, watch Dead Alive. In this one, the main character's mother is a horrible and always trying to ruin his life. Once she is bitten by a weird rat thing she becomes a zombie and infects the town. And just so you guys can finally figure out your pop culture, this is the movie where the guy picks up a push mower and runs it through a crowd of zombies. If you play Left 4 Dead, you will know what I'm talking about.
#5)  Return of the Living Dead

                      Return of the Living Dead is a retro classic. When no one knows how to take down a zombie, all they have to do is ask the guy who watched Night of the Living Dead. Just so everyone knows, this is the movie that started the belief that zombies eat brains. Hell, it started the zombie moan of " BRAAAAAIIIIINNNSSS!!"
#4)  Dead and Breakfast

                   Dead and Breakfast taught me a few things. First off, don't ever stay in David Carradine's house (You will either find him jerking off in a closet, or starting the zombie apocalypse). And the second thing I learned was that, if need be, you can always make a shotgun with household items.
#3)  Zombieland

                      After about five minutes of trying to decide which joke to use, I guess I'll just pitch a few of them. #1: Zombieland: The future biography of Mark Zuckerberg. 2: How did Michael Cera have time to film this, Scott Pilgram, and do all the digital shorts on SNL? 3: The ratio of hot girls (like Emma Stone) that sleep with nerdy guys to actual number of nerdy guys in the world makes me really sad :(
#2)  Fido

                      Ok, I want you to picture the show Lassie. Got it? Good, now swap out the dog with a blood thirsty zombie being controlled by a collar. then that collar breaks. Normally that would spell disaster, but for Timmy, that means his pet zombie has his back. This one is definitely worth a download.
#1)  Shaun of the Dead

                         The pairing of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is just amazing. It's like the combo of Chris Farley and David Spade, it just works. I'm at a loss of words for how amazingly awesome and hilarious this movie is. Just watch it. I don't care if you've seen it a million times, watch it again. Then watch Paul. That was a good one too.



                   There we go guys. After a week of nothing but zombies, I feel like I need a palate cleanser. Good thing this is the age of the Internet and I can go back and watch the women's field hockey, volleyball, and other Olympic events that feature athletic women in sports bras! I hope my week was worth it and you guys all liked my lists. As for whats next for me and my blogging adventures, I have no idea. If anyone has a genre they would like me to explore, just leave me a comment and I will totally go for it. Since it is now late as hell and I work tomorrow, I should probably get some sleep. Have a great night/day, everyone.

Zombie Survival Tip #5: Cut your hair and wear tight clothes. The zombies are going to have a hard time grabbing you if there is nothing to grab on to.

ZOMBIES!

                 After a long day at work, I can finally type this one up. I finally finished my zombie watch list and decided it would be best to make two separate lists. One list for zombie films, and the other for the zomcom ( zombie comedy). Before I begin the task of making these lists, I would like to make something very clear. The movies that make up The Evil Dead trilogy, why amazingly awesome, are not zombie movies. The Evil Dead movies are about demons and demon possessions. Sure, dead bodies are re-animated, but they torment Ash and are purely the embodiment of the demon. Zombies do not have goals beyond the basic need to feed. Now that we've got that out of the way.....

               Zombie Films

10) Resident Evil: Apocalypse

                    What's better than Jill Valentine running around in a tube top and short shorts killing zombies? That would be a Milla Jovovich nip slip. And yes, this movies does have both.

9) Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

                    Cabin Fever 2 is campy, gory, and all around awesome. I can't think of a better way to spend a Friday night than watching this combo on a big ass tv.

8) Dawn of the Dead (2004)

                      I know I'm going to catch some hate for saying this, but I liked the 2004 re-make more that the original George A. Romero movie of the same name. Pregnant zombies giving birth to zombie babies just hits home for me. This movie may also be the reason I can't bring my self to watch Modern Family ( I just really hate that guy.).

7) 28 Weeks Later

                     Earlier this week, I sat through both 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later. I didn't really care for the first one. However, I really liked the second one. Maybe it's the society making it, then being destroyed violently in a mess of confusion that got to me, I couldn't get enough of it.

6) Deadgirl

                     Deadgirl was just wrong. The movie starts with two friends spelunking in an old nut house. After being chased by the guard dog in the facility ( Who the hell keeps it fed?), the boys come across what they believe to be a kidnapped woman who is naked and tied down to a table. After discovering that she cant speak, they come to the conclusion that she must just be crazy. At this point, one boy wants to help her, and the other thinks it would be fun to put his penis in her..... yea..... I'm really not sure whats worse, raping a zombie, or raping a zombie while thinking shes just a crazy chick that was locked up and forgotten about in a basement. Just a heads up, this one has a whole lot of nudity and you will probably want to vom.

5) I am Legend (2007)

                     While I  have yet to see the original, I have seen Will Smith's re-make several time. Throughout the movie, you start to feel bad for Smith and become aware that he is batshit crazy. Screaming at manikins, you realize that his only friend is his dog. And then the movie goes all Marley and Me. I tend to turn the movie off at that scene.

4) Dead Snow

                     I bought Call of Duty Black Ops for the same reason I watched this movie. Nazi zombies are just badass.  However, listening to a  group of people cry out in Norwegian get very old very fast. At least Swedish sounds close enough to English that you can understand without reading the subtitles.

3) The Crazies (2010)

                    Yet another case where I like the re-make more than the original ( I know a few people that are going to hate me for this). I first watched this movie without knowing it was a zombie movie. Netflix realised that I think the dude from Justified (Timothy Olyphant) is awesomesauce. After watching, I realised that he is way more badass than I had previously thought and is incredibly under rated. I also liked the idea of zombies seeming like people that truly don't give a shit anymore.

2) Quarantine 2: Terminal

                   For any horror fans reading this, don't judge me. Personally, I like the Quarantine movies and I don't get why they are so hated. A terrorist organization making a zombie plague and releasing across the world and only having enough anti-viruses for themselves is great, especial after the " ruh roh" moment of realising that the anti-virus doesn't work. And if that doesn't get you sucked in, a chick gets her mouth eaten in the beginning. Sick!

1) Land of the Dead

                     Should Land of the Dead have the number one spot on this list? Who can say? I thought this movie was the best one Romero did. This one was so good that the video game company Bioware payed homage to it with Tennpenny Tower in its high profile game Fallout 3. I have known for quite some time that when the zombies attack I want someone like Patrick Jane from the Mentalist on my team. Now i think I just want Simon Baker there so he could just "badass" everything to death.

                   I hope it was worth it. After watching 37 zombie movies in 1 week I have finally completed my list. Even if you guys don't like it, I'm pretty sure when Z.A. (Zombie Apocalypse) happens, I might just live a little longer than everyone else. After all, surviving the zombie apocalypse isn't about killing the most zombies, it's about surviving. Since I have off tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be able to get the zomcom list typed up and posted tomorrow. Have a great night/day, everyone. And good luck during Z.A.

Zombie Survival Tip #4: If there is only one zombie in your way and sneaking is not an option, do NOT fire a gun. That just attracts a hoard. Hoards are no bueno.