Heartlines

                   On a day where so many people are appalled by Chick-fil-a and disapproval of the gay community ( Really? A christian company that is against the idea of cultural acceptance? Say it ain't so!), I find my self in a state of shock. No, not shock over the fact that I like waffle fries and have nothing against gays. I'm in shock over the idea that Liam Neeson is more badass than Bruce Willis. Before tonight, I would have no problem saying John McClane was the most badass character in the history of film. I would have said he was more badass than Ash from The Evil Dead.
                    However, everything changed tonight. Tonight, for the first time, I watched Taken. As the movie started, I figured " Meh, he doesn't seem all that awesome.". Then the real movie started. His daughter was taken and he went into full killing mode. Bryan Mills gave little to no fucks when it came to the law or the safety of others. He flipped his shit and went to Paris to get his daughter back. He started his ballad of badassery by chasing a man until said man jumped off the freeway and was hit by a truck. With that lead cut short, he pissed off a pimp in order to infiltrate a sex den where he figured his daughter was being sold. She wasn't there, but but after he was done, neither was anyone else. Saving a girl that might have information to help him, he was confronted by the French who wanted to send him back home for "disturbing the peace". I know the French are dirty people in the literal sense, but I had no idea their government was as dirty as ours. It seems they were profiting off the sex trade, and didn't want Bryan Mills to ruin everything.
                     If there is one thing I have earned from this movie, it's that I should never piss off Liam Neeson. He went to his old "buddy" in the French government one last time. He showed up at his house and had the French wife prepare dinner. That lady was easily the nicest to Bryan. She was scared and just wanted to know what was going on. This is where Liam Neeson surpasses Bruce Willis in terms of badassery. He shoots her to prove a fucking point. That bullet wound ended up paying off though. He found out his daughter was to be auctioned to the highest bidder ( It would seem virgins are a delicacy in Europe).
                     After a sweet ass murder spree at the "auction house" Bryan chased a car (on foot) to the docks, where his daughter was being loaded onto a boat. At this point, it's all or nothing. Some how, Neeson has to make it onto the boat to save his daughter. He does so in the most badass way. Neeson drives the wrong way down a one way road to reach a bridge. From the bridge, he jumps off, onto the boat, and breaks the guard's neck as he lands. After another sweet 5 minute killing spree, Bryan knocks down the door to the man that has his daughter. This guy is fat as fuck and all of his guards are dead. Does he surrender and apologise? Nope, he thinks holding a knife to the girls throat and trying to bargain will work. One head shot and he's down.
                     Now you all see my dilemma. I have made it a point to have at least one Bruce Willis movie in every movie list I have done, with the exception of the Robin Williams one. To think that I was wrong in declaring John McClane the most badass Character hurts me. What else am I wrong about? Did Rocky even really end the cold war in Rocky 4? I just don't even know anymore. He was a Soviet, a Nazi, a Jedi, and a ninja. He trained Obi-Wan Kenobi, Batman, and the Vault-Boy. Hell, he has been a god in more than one movie and can punch a wolf to death. It is for these reason, on the night of Wednesday, August 1st 2012, I hear by declare Liam Neeson more badass than Bruce Willis.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Zombie Survival Tip #3: Cover up. The whole Road Warrior look may be rad as fuck, but if one bite can end you, get some damned body armor.