Pursuit of Happiness

                 Hey, everyone. Sorry about not posting anything yesterday, I was balls deep in some Skyrim expansion (hahaha dong guard). But that extra day did give me some time to actually have something to write about. As you know, Star Wars Celebration 6 is coming up. My sister sent me a post about the "Sci-fi speed-dating". I kid you not, their tag line is " looking for love in Alderaan places?" While this does sound hilarious, there's one problem. This is a Star Wars convention. I really don't want to know what kind of girl is geeky enough to go to a Star Wars convention (Filled to the brim with dudes in jedi robes) and has a hard time getting guys to like them. They must have noticeable crazy eyes. No, I don't mean they have a lazy eye ( That would be really shallow to avoid a girl because of that). I'm talking about that creepy ass " I have my ex-boyfriends skull in my living room" stare. So, I'm going to have to pass up the idea of Sci-fi speed-dating (I'd rather keep me skin where it is, not hanging in someones closet.)
                 After declining to do jedi speed dating, it hit me. I like being alone. People always talk about how they hate doing things by themselves because they feel awkward and loner-ish. I love it. One of my favorite things to do by myself is go to the movies. Everyone is so weirded out by the idea of going to the movies by themselves that they just wont go if they cant find someone to accompany them. For those of you that hate going solo, I present you with this list. The Top 5 reasons to go to the movies solo.




#1 Efficiency
                 I don't know about everyone else, but I love to walk around with my head phones on and some music going. I do this everywhere. So, when I go to the movies, I have my music going. I walk up to the electronic ticket machine, buy my ticket, give my ticket to the guy at the door and keep on walking to the snack bar. No talking to people, no awkward attempts at jokes to make the proses more enjoyable, and hearing other peoples conversations ( I've heard some dumb ass conversations.) You cant do that if you're by yourself. You have to ask "Are you sure you want to see this movie at this time?", " Do you want to get snacks now?", or " do you have to go to the bathroom?" (fyi: I hate when they go to the bathroom and expect you to wait for them in the hallway.)

#2 Snacks
                This is one of the biggest things that erks me. You can be on a date, with family, or just with a mooch ass friend, this always happens. You go through the snack bar, order a large drink and a large popcorn, they order a small box of candy. At this point you're thinking to yourself " they are going to be pretty damn hungry and thirsty during this 3 hour movie.". That is so not whats going through their heads. To them, you buying a large drink and a large popcorn means you went large out of generosity to others.
                 Lets jump forward a bit. You're sitting down, the movie hasn't even started yet, and the person you're with already downed their $5 fun-sized skittles. Naturally you're watching their hand like a hawk. You know whats coming, you tried to fool yourself into thinking that they wont, but they will. As the movie starts, so does that hand. As someone destined for a life of solitude, my first reaction is to smack that damn hand away from my popcorn ( Tip: Don't do this on a date. Trust me, that was a very quiet night from then on.). Others might just bend over and take it, but that just opens you up to losing your drink too. Stand strong, if you don't defend your snacks, no one will.

#3 The Perfect Seat
                The debate over the perfect movie theater is a tale as old as time. You have your snacks and enter the theater and it begins. As someone with horrible vision, my favorite seat is the front of the main section. most theaters today set the seats in two groups, the front section and the main section. The front section is that group of seat so close to the screen that you have to almost lay down in the seat to get the whole viewing experience ( that will cause your butt to go numb in about an hour). I like the seats right behind them. The seats that are in the first walkway, with the spaces between them for wheelchairs and the bars in front. For some unknown reason, everyone I've ever gone to the movies with cant stand to be "So Close to the Screen!". Since when is that considered close?
                However, lack of back bone takes over at this point and you generally give up and sit where ever the other person wants. Sitting there, you realize this is going to suck. The commercials are so blurry, you start to think you're seeing a 3-D movie. Drawing back from that horrible date, I suggest not saying "screw this", getting up and walking to a closer seat, and sitting there for the rest or the movie (I'm not usually like this, I was trying to get her to break up with me). If you stuck with that far back seats, you companion will usually rub their victory in your face with a quick line like " See? That's why those seats are the best. You get to see everything. Sucks "we" ran out of popcorn so fast.".

#4  The Arm Rest
               Whoever designed the modern movie theater seat or air plane seat is an ass hole. How is a grown ass man expected to share an armrest with someone else? This makes no sense at all. Instead of leaning back in your seat,enjoying the film, you are engaged in a power struggle. The fight to determine an alpha male. While it would be nice if all the seats had two arm rests each, I guess it's more cost effective to piss people off. However, this is so not a problem if you go to the movies alone. You can enjoy the movie with both arm rests, in your favorite seat, and have your popcorn and drink all to yourself  with no risk of an aneurysm caused by the audacity of others.

#5 Leaving The Theater
                 As the movie comes to an end, its every man for himself. As you get about halfway down the narrow hallway fill with people heading to the bathroom, you hear that annoying companion of yours again. This time they want you to stop in that huge crowd of people so they can get to you sooner than if they just waited to meet up in the lobby ( Those extra few seconds could be the difference between life and death #sarcasm). I urge you not to be that guy. I hate that guy. Stopping in the middle of a crowd causes the crowd to build up and slow down even more, and I really don't like crowds ( Or do I just not like people in general?). Trust me, you can wait until you're outside to talk about your favorite part of the movie, you won't die from anticipation.




                 There you have it, Five reasons it's better to go to the movies alone than with someone else. I realise I may have just come off as a dick, but I promise I'm not. I just prefer to do somethings by myself ( I have better conversation with my self than I do with others). I even like going to restaurants alone. I know it's weird, but it's so much better. As always, I hope you all enjoyed my list and have a great night/day.
 Vampire safety tip #2: Vampires can not enter a home uninvited. So, if you're in your home, just welcome them in. Sarcasm probably counts as an invite.